Stereotypes...

Something that never is eradicated.

Stereotypes can be looked at by different characteristics that society instinctively attributes to groups of people to classify them according to age, weight, occupation, skin color, gender, etc.

The kind of thinking that maybe 100’s of years ago was made by one person and then we fools follow that.

I wasn’t bothered about such comments people passed, until the one day I was under the radar.

Yes, every country in this world has got freedom and constitutional rules that protect its citizens. But about do we do about the thought of the people who make comments that are not on the rule book to be punished?

Nothing, absolutely nothing can be done.

Growing up in India, I have come across these stereotypical people every day of my life.

You wear short clothes, you are a whore.

You talk to a guy or make a guy friend, she becomes a slut who is desperate to sleep with any guy.

You dress in man clothes, you will never have any guy looking to marry you in future.

You talk too much, you have no respect for elders.

And God forbid.! You are divorced. You will die alone and don't know how to take care of a man’s needs.

Who are these people to judge anyone? Why are they judging us? And do they get a result? Or any kind of satisfaction by judging them?

Absolutely nothing is achieved, apart from making the opposite person sad and pushing them to depression.

And these stereotypes change according to the country you are in, for example being gay in America is still not something that people are happy about.

Until I went through my divorce, I did not how people went through people's judgment. It does not matter if you are a layman or famous celebrity or even the richest person in India. The minute you publicly announce your separation, people start having secret group conversations or start judging you telling as a woman she was incapable of handling her family.

I’m specifically telling about India here because personally, I have seen how people have been hurt by these stereotypical words.

During the time of my divorce, I saw a series of marriages fail, My best friends sister who lived in the USA for two years, was depressed by the amount of mental torcher her husband gave her, my other closest friend’s sister who lived in India was mentally torched by her husband family, and this amazing human did not even bother helping her in this situation, but sat along and enjoyed the show.

Men betraying their 30 years of marriage, and women who didn't have a choice but to live this fact stayed in the marriage because they were afraid of these judgmental people.

If you ask people in India, this seems to be a casual thing and making a big deal of such a matter will push you to be one in one of their folders for these stereotypesers. To escape this we either need to move to a different country or city or the best option according to these judgmental’s is to vanish from his world.

This is not just the old-timers who think this, people of my generation ask me why is it that I did not adjust to an unhappy marriage. All these questions are asked to a woman and only woman. Because according to the Indian “made-up rule” men can never do anything wrong in a marriage.

He can cheat on you, but you have to still be the good wife and feed him and sleep with him and take care of the child and his family.

After divorce effects are, when you are trying to meet a new person, the fool and his family want to ever detail of “why you left the guy?”, “ how many times did you have sex with him?” and the biggest question, “Can you guaranty us you wouldn’t leave our son when you get married?” This is the talk from the outsider.

But the relative and close family friends are already looking at the divorced or rich old men who couldn't even get married once. Yes, why not? Women in India are offered to open their mouths once, and if you done that once to getting a divorce, don't even think of utter a word at the time you want to re-marry.

“If you are an Indian woman living in India and have been divorced for whatever reason, you have no right to get married to a guy who has never been married.”, this is how the rules are made by them, and men in India will do all the talking of being a feminist in stages and public places, but when they are given or told to marry a divorcee, and I quote “I don't want a second hand”

WOW, the audacity these men have. No no. I’m not making up one word of this article, every word is either my experience or the experience my closest friends and family have gone through.

I sometimes wish we had some kind of power just to see what happens inside of a man's brain when they see women, who are almost similar to the woman he has been dating for years.

Yes, I’m not saying we women don’t get bored of relationships.

We have all types of people in this world. But men can only be two types, either they love you or they never did. It is black or white, the grey or other colors don’t exist to them unless you are wearing a colorful bikini.

I know I might have offended a lot of men. But I’m sure 98% of you men agree with me.

All I want to say is, day after day we are moving towards progress of new life, but there are still so many stereotypes that will always bring our even happiest day to the sad days. So no matter which part of world you are from, cut down all these stereotypes and live your life like there is no tomorrow

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Ankita Kumar

Ankita Kumar

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Former Fashion Designer, part-time Chef, and an amateur writer, who loves to explore every topic and trying to read as many books, before I die.