I Did judge a book by its cover.

Story of discovering myself when I was watching, “How I met your mother”.

So this all started when I came to Canada. Yes, I’m sorry to drag Canada into most of my conversations. But this country has thought me how to love myself, be myself, unlearn so many things. And I love this country for so many reasons.

Last night this so happened, I met someone very spontaneous through a dating app. You can ask how this is this spontaneous?

I got swiped by him in the middle of the night when I was watching some dumb rom-com movie.

I didn't think much and swiped on him too. I wish I could call his name out, but not do that injustice here. Let's call him “A man who made me be myself after years”

So we caught up at 3'o clock in the night for a timmies coffee. This might sound stupid for a lot of people, but this was the way that the universe was trying to tell me that I needed to give myself to the world. It so happened he was in the city I grew up in and also worked in the same place I worked three’s ago.

After three hours of amazing conversation that I had with him, One cup of double-double from timmies and two cigarettes later. I was being myself with him.

How much I appreciated him for making me so comfortable to be myself, we had a crazy and nice conversation. And we decided to meet again today for activity and dinner later.

Which is amazing to me. Why I say amazing is.! all the guys who I have been or talked to in my life have made me feel like “I will feed you now and you feed me later in bed” kind.

But there is one issue and this is how “How I met your mother” hit me. This so happens I was watching the season 5 ep 23 “The Wedding Bride” in which Ted talks about the baggage we all carry and the one girl he met helped him reduce that baggage.

And my baggage was my divorce.

Yes, I haven’t told him yet. And I was thinking of telling this to him today when I will meet him for the second time. And all I can think of is.

“How will he take this?”

“Will this end in a bad date night”, or worst

“Will this be the end of this amazing night that I had with him”

My brain is one big overthinking bag and all I can think of is bad things happening.

But why?

why do we carry this baggage that we don’t deserve to carry?

Why that one tiny mistake we made haunts us even on our best days.

I’m the only one who overthinks things to happen this way.

Should I have told him the truth the first time we met?

Will I screw this up?

Honestly, I don't know. All I can pray is not to end this biggest best thing that has happened to me after years.

Do you know how difficult it is to find no red flags on the first date that you are meeting in the middle of the night.?

And answer for that, I have to wait for the evening. With my fingers crossed I’m jumping into this.

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Ankita Kumar

Ankita Kumar

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Former Fashion Designer, part-time Chef, and an amateur writer, who loves to explore every topic and trying to read as many books, before I die.