Guys and their excitement.!

my take on online dating.

Online dating with the current scenario is a perfect blend. It is too risky to meet people and talking to people in an open space is not going to be common in the future.

But how far has online dating been improved from the perspective of women? I would say that dating applications like bumble, hinge, and tinder is taking all their initiative to make sure that girls are not in any trouble by meeting any guy with the wrong intention. How far does this help any girl? I say maybe 20% of the time, but there are a lot of guys undercover with a ‘decent cover’, but who actually have no intention of being the “good one”.

I understand that reason for being on a dating app, to find someone to hook up with. Not all the girls are looking for the same reason, Yes, we love sex, please show me who doesn’t love sex.! Some of us say it loud and some don’t. I'm not objectifying all the guys on these applications, maybe say 50%.

Where are all the men who asked us out for a coffee first, trying to get to know us, or even trying to make us comfortable with a decent conversation before taking us to bed? Yes, we love the bad boys too. I’m sure all the guys at one point in their time would love to have their ‘Bad boy’ image, try to be a decent guy, and then try the bad boy looks on us. Every girl in this world will fall for you. And if the intention is just sex, then why is it hard for you guys to put it out on the table in the first conversation? Is it because you know even you wouldn't sleep with yourself on the first day. Then why expect a girl to have all kinds of fantasies with you?

In my two experiences, I went on just two dates with two different guys but both of Indian ethnicity. Let's call the guy one Boy A and guy two Boy B. Boy A was the first guy I ever met in Canada through a dating app before I met him I just had a few hours of conversation about how much we both like the same kind of liquor. Plus it so happened that he also as my the same city I grew up in so we kinda got along well and met on the weekend. I went with no expectation and it really turned to be a good date. He didn't creep me out, he was decent enough, even though there was one red flag, he did not push to his initiations. We even had second and third dates after that which made me more and more comfortable. I felt a good vibe and we didn't even sleep together yet.

So now the boy B, I spoke to him for two days, because he said he is very busy during weekends and evenings for work and getting back home. I met him in a small coffee shop, even though things were not very common between him and me, we still decided to meet. We sat in his car, did nothing fishy because he was very much particular about “doing stuff with my consent” which I had not given him yet. He told me about the stories and experiences he had with the girls he met on the dating app, which actually freaked me out. One most evident part of his conversation felt like he was trying to pursue my consent by pushing me to it, which never happened. He pestered me back and forth, even then his intention was not to make me comfortable, but just to get into my pants. But why? why is he trying so hard? If I just needed to sleep with you I would have given my consent to you, but do you have to push me to it?

I might sound condescending to people but like I mentioned girls love sex, so if you really want to get into her pants without catching feelings for her why don't you let her choose? You have choices too, we are not asking you to come behind us, when the feeling is mutual, well and good, if it does not then give her the space needed, she will come back to you sooner or later. The more you push the more she will run away from you. It's just like the cars you drive guys, the pedal on the gas means the car is going fast, the faster you go the sooner the chances of an accident.

What’s my take? Give women her space, make her comfortable before you take her to bed. If sleeping with the girl is the only intention, I'm sure there are millions of ways you guys can figure out to do that. So please respect someone's boundaries and we will always and always fall for guys with good manners rather than Joey’s and Barney's from all our favorite shows. Don’t try to be them, even they themselves are struggling in the real world.



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Ankita Kumar

Ankita Kumar


Former Fashion Designer, part-time Chef, and an amateur writer, who loves to explore every topic and trying to read as many books, before I die.