30 mistakes I have done before turning 30.

Why god why??

Age is just a number. This is one common line I have heard from people all the time. On the 10th of March, I turned 30. I feel both happy and sad for numerous reasons.

I never worried about growing old. In fact when I was a kid all I wanted to do is to grow old and have a job, family, and travel. Even though I have done it all, I have not stopped working for a better tomorrow. Here are the 30 huge mistakes I have done (just my opinion):

  1. Not rooting my options: I was an average student at school. I was never into maths or science subjects. One of the reasons was also the kind of teachers I had. Even though I know people who have studied maths and science have changed their interest in business I actually feel I missed out on all the interesting parts of the school.
  2. Not choosing any sports: My dad was a college-level football player and my mother was a state-level badminton player. Keeping these in mind my parents always thought that I will choose some kind of sports in my school. However, I hated playing outside, they did try to put me in numerous activities. I either came up with reasons or went to a few sessions and later never bothered to turn up to it.
  3. Money is just a part of life: My parents are from a middle-class family and they have made sure I and my sister get a good education and have a comfortable life. At the same time, circumstances have pushed me to think that money is very important in life. I have felt any child coming from an Indian upper-middle-class family is always told to think of a career that will give us more money than pursue our dreams.
  4. Sex education: I would say India is one of those countries that think sex is taboo. Henceforth most schools do not talk about sex education. Yes, as we grow up we learn things on our own, but as a child, even our parents do not talk about sex, or the use of condoms, etc.
  5. Not having the real bond or connection with my father growing up: My father and I have had a very unsteady relationship. I used to be “Pappa’s Fav” until I started having my own thoughts and career choices. My father never wanted me to pursue Fashion design because he thought that was a very useless career and will never be to make a life out of it.
  6. Taking people who love me for granted: My grandmother is one hell of a strong woman who raised two of her kids all by herself. and not just them, she raised me my sister, and all my 5 cousins. Even though she loved my uncle more than my mom, she always stayed with us. after we lost our uncle in a really bad accident, she was devastated it took a lot of time to accept that he had gone. A few years down the lane she started having mental issues and things went up and down at home. At that time we had no choice but to put her in a care house. Which I later felt was the biggest mistake we as a family took. I felt I took her for granted and pushed her away when she should have been given that special care. I feel as I child I was responsible too for these actions.
  7. Not knowing the difference between real and fake friends: During my college days, I had a lot of friends. Friends who I thought will last forever in life. But turns out they were all just faking it. And they were really good at it. The older I grew the shorter became my friend circle. Now I have countable friends who I can for sure rely on during my best and worst times.
  8. Not updating my lingo: I was 27 or 28 years old when I saw the friends series for the first time. Yes, I’m a very late bloomer. And one of the reasons I watched it was because of my sister and best friend just talking about it and using references and I hardly understood any of them. I never tried to update or discover new things out of my interest area.
  9. Just dating one guy: I’m old school when it comes to love. I always wanted to marry the guy I ever first fell in love with. Even though that never happened. I always regret not going on dates in India.
  10. Not have “sex and the city” girl-bond: My cousins have all had this girl bond or girlfriends, but I was always the one who choose to have guy friends. I felt having a girlfriend is too much work.
  11. Not taking my option for education seriously: I was never been forced to take up something I did not like. But at the same time, I was never told the difference in future lifestyles that will happen due to the career that we choose. I have known people who have chosen some career path just because they like to travel and make money at times. Yes, I wish I knew when to start rather than being late for the game.
  12. Not wanting to learn a different international language: I currently can understand and speak 4 Indian languages. But that does not make much of a difference once you decide to leave India. My parents or my school never told us the importance of learning a foreign language.
  13. Got attracted to artificial lifestyle: It was years later I got to know that people in the world live an artificial life. A life where they pretend to be happy but are not. They pretend to be in love, but that is just so the world doesn't point fingers at them. And I was attracted to that kind of lifestyle for a certain time.
  14. Not trying to move on to a new person: Like I have mentioned before I have just dated one guy in my life and that was one of my biggest mistakes that I did. I regret not seeing new people or trying to learn about different people.
  15. Forgiving people who don’t deserve: Not once but my ex-boyfriend has cheated on me a couple of times. Even though I should have not given him the second chance I still gave him the liberty to cheat on me and come up with new lame reasons.
  16. Not having a come back on some people: I hated a workplace, I was actually dying to get a job in that place but when I started working there I got to know how two-faced people work. Instead of sitting there and giving them what they deserved. I left, just because I thought it was not worth my time and effort.
  17. Thinking that partying is a way to live: All my college friends used to party during the time when I used to be at home surrounded by books. And I felt awful about my life that I couldn’t stay up all night gossiping and drinking.
  18. Being available for people all the time: Yes, I'm that person who is ready to save your ass even at 3 am in the morning if you are one of my closest friends.
  19. Not saying “NO” at the right time: Saying ‘No’ is like an art. And I'm that fool who never bothered to learn it. I actually got myself into so much trouble because I have not said “NO” at the right time.
  20. Thinking I have excelled in the art of communicating with people: I can be an asshole at times. That one place that I thought I was not giving two fucks about was the way I communicate verbally or non-verbally. I acted as I masted it.
  21. Not researching before I left my home country, to a place where I call home: Canada is a very beautiful country, but it has its downsides too.
  22. Trying to make myself fit in things I don’t: I have a bad habit of changing myself for people even when I know things are going to be temporary. Some things have worked for me and something I regret(like my stupid tattoo).
  23. Believing that “Movies love” is real love: I was a huge sucker for all the dumb Indian love movies that Indian cinema has shown me for years. Little did my stupid brain know that it was all made up until I had my first heartbreak.
  24. Confusing physical relationship as love: They say the old you grow the older the more you mature. One thing that I have understood so clearly is sex has nothing to do with love.
  25. Being the great procrastinator even on my hobbies: Humans are lazy. But procrastination is above all. And I have been that person for years. I have waited till deadlines to finish projects.
  26. Social media addiction: One of the common addictions I have got as a grew old. And One reason I wanted to be in the early game of social media was that I didn’t wanna have FOMO.
  27. Having FOMO: The biggest fear is the fear of missing out on things. Like I have said earlier I have always been told that there is an age to do everything, and when you miss it you will never get that time of moment again. Instead of enjoying the current moment I have always wanted to move forward for things.
  28. Trusting people far too easily: What happens when you trust people? They take advantage of things that we would have told them in a private or small happy moment you would have shared with them will just be an opportunity for them to make fun of you in front of others.
  29. Not moving out of my parent's house at the correct time: This is a very uncommon tradition in Indian households. The reason I think this was a mistake is that this has made me more dependent on my parents.
  30. Being Kind: The last but never the least. Being Kind has made me get many titles, “attention seeker”, “Bosses Pet”, “Rich brat”. But all I did was be kind to people. Listen to them been with them when they needed a human company the most.

Out of all the 30 mistakes I have done I have tried to correct every one of them. To date, I don’t regret being what I am or who I am. Yes, I have had the worst and best days of my life. It has been given to me by people I trust the most or people who I taught who have no interest in me. My 30th birthday was my first ever far away from home. I didn’t expect it to go any certain way, because the more I expect the less I get, one of the biggest lessons I have learned.

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Ankita Kumar

Ankita Kumar

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Former Fashion Designer, part-time Chef, and an amateur writer, who loves to explore every topic and trying to read as many books, before I die.